DoS jokes
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
Memes
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.