DoS jokes
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a PEIS?
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.