DoS jokes
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?
Palpatine: Review it.
Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
How do birds pay? With their bills!
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
What do we call a gay Canadian?
Sophisticated cunt.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.