What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
what do call a brave octopus octobrave
What Do You Call A Three Humped Camel? Pregnant
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
