DoS jokes
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
Why do orphans hate baseball so much?
Because they can't run home.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!