DoS jokes
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and youâre mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because youâre a chronic addict.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.
What do you call an autistic ant? An Evelyn.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Your hairline is so ugly, even Dora the Explorer canât even do it.
What games do orphans hate?
Bingo.
Q: What movie do emos relate the most to?
A: Suicide Squad.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didnât put enough backbone into it.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do tomatoes đ learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
Itâs like masturbation. Sometimes itâs not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. Thatâs what thighjobs are for.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm đ.
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didnât know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husbandâs joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husbandâs schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think Iâll be screwed by you for more of that, youâre out of your mind."
Why do orphans have cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.