DoS jokes
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!