DoS jokes
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
Do you know Biden?
Biden on these nuts.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.