What do you call a door? A floor.
DoS Jokes
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
What do you do when you're sad?
Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
