DoS jokes
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.