DoS jokes
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
What do you call a cute door?
Adorable.
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
What type of jam do aliens like?
Space Jam!
Why do orphans like families? Because they wish they had one.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.