DoS jokes
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Royals?
Because they have already lost two towers!
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!