Why do the French eat snails? -- They don't like fast food.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
Q: Why did the Orphan get an IPhone X for their birthday?
A: Cause it don’t have a home button
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
Father : I don't trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter's belly,. Son : But Paah you can't fire me. Father: You're lucky you're my brother too or I'd kill you.
roses are red, violates are blue, i don't know why i am still alive for you
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.
Person: why'd you stop?
Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
I hate 2 faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
