Do jokes
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.