Discontent jokes

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.