Dis Jokes

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

My dad died in 9/11....

He was a good driver.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,

"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"

My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,

"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.

Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

Someone dies.