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MY SISTER WAS MAKING RAMEN FOR ME AND SHE FORGOT TO PUT WATER IN AND SHE MELTED THE BOWL AND MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE BURNT PLASTIC AND RANDOM PERFUMES!!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!

My sister told me that my girlfriend was no good I asked why since sheโ€™s been over in are house she has been acting weird around my boyfriend I Asked isnโ€™t you boyfriend in college I said my girlfriend is only in 7th grade I say he would be dating a minor. My sister said oh ya I was one telling you that because you girlfriend is just not good. I told good to slow with. Then I walked out of the room. True story

I wanna rip out my intestines throw them in sea, I want to raise some money to invest in plastic surgery. I want to cover myself head to toe and super sexy scars, cuz I mean aren't you supposed to burn if you're a star?

Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.