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“Be triumphant and finish them off, and don’t leave anyone behind. Erase the memory of them. Erase them, their families, mothers and children. These animals can no longer live. If you have a [member of group] neighbor, don’t wait, go to his home and shoot him.” - Ezra Yachin

Dear Sarah,

Your last comment was 3 days ago. You use your phone about 3-4 hours daily. You have a boyfriend, and possibly are in the field of medicine, although I can't be sure. You're right handed. (By "possibly" in the field of medicine I mean you don't seem to be in it yet, but you may be working towards it.) Ok, so you're definitely not in the field yet and are most likely in high school. You like horror, and y… Read more

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lucy, who was known for one peculiar thing: she could not stop farting. It wasn’t just an occasional squeak or puff—it was a full-on symphony of noises, each more unpredictable than the last.

It all started one Saturday morning when Lucy was helping her mother bake cookies. As they mixed the dough, Lucy felt the pressure building. She tried to hold it in, but the more she foc… Read more

I've got no balance in this life I can't let go of what I like Somebody told me in a dream That I look weaker when I cry My mother used to tell me things I know I wasn't supposed to know What's that got to do with me? How the fuck do I let go? Pitfalls from God without a rope Colored chalk around my throat How the fuck do I let go? She says, "Don't ya love me?" (And if not, then why?) She reminds me of mom (okay, alr… Read more

LISTEN. you fuckin idiots. your mama jokes or dada jokes or knock joke...theyre not funny, mother fucker. your jokes are all not funny. stop posting them. "OH wah, I'm a duck and I wish I were a chicken, whats wrong with me?" Shut the fuck up.

so I'm a 1ft 2 inch carrot that is 4 inches wide. I was the biggest baddest carrot in the supermarket until one day, a 17 year old boy grabbed me alongside some vaseline. And then, when we got home, he dipped me in that vaseline and... I don't need to say the rest. Anyways I now smell like shit and his mother threw me out the window out of fear. I then got picked up by a trash collecter and he used me as a dildo too.… Read more

Shut up boy you look like a velociraptor in a clogged toilet bowl! Bruh you look like an off brand Ben 10 character! Nah you ain’t Ben 10 you Steven 9! Get yo ass back boy, you look like you got expelled for barking at yo lunch lady! Shut yo ass up boy, you ain’t from Jurassic Park, you came from the prehistoric playground! Get yo ass out boy you like Clifford the big red dog’s fossil! Boy what are you talking about … Read more

Hello, my name is Brenda. Imagine for a second that you’re me: An adult orphan kicked out of foster care at the tender age of 18. No family. No money. No love. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the big bad world suddenly at your feet. Forced to grow-up practically overnight or face homelessness and extreme adversity.

Fucked, in every sense of the world.

Then, imagine, you’re somehow able to beat the odds and get… Read more

i made a song

Five A.M And I am checking FlightRadar on my iPad, all alone Tracking an Emirates plane that might just pass my home

'Just a plane' People say, but this one's special in a special kinda way 747 fans should probably go away

Hey, what's that plane I hear? Oh, it is coming near

Help me, Help me, Help me, see my favourite aircraft Will Air Traffic Control send it through to my way? Help me, Help me, H… Read more

Well, if you are reading this you may as well know that this right here is a goodbye letter. I will be leaving the 23rd of this month, I joined In the middle of dec in 2022. My overall experience with this website was awesome I enjoyed every second of it with all of you guys (expect for the bad days) I had a lot of ups and downs on this website with some of y’all BUT other than that y’all were some pretty cool people… Read more

Happy Mothers day! Make sure to contact every mother you know :> even your friends mother! Just make sure not to sleep with her!

Guess who has two thumbs and got called a disappointment by his mother just to come home the next day and be told I looked like satan? This guy. Not like I give two fucks what my mom thinks anyway what’s she gonna do if she ever wants to punish me? Take away my iPad so she can’t text me if I run away? Yes this post is 100% dumb and probably a waste of your time just felt like saying something because it’s the weekend 😎

I’m not “stealing memes” from memedroid. I’m just helping pass them around. Like your mother.

Boil "Jokes on you I have no mother" LMAOOOOOOOOO NO MORTHER? ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀

Assalum Alaykum, Monolingual Beta Males! It is Language Simp, your favorite hyperpolyglot gigachad alphamale. Tell me to speak a language! I can speak over 50 Languages at a D1 fluent level! In the last post I created, I asked everyone to say a language. Say a language or I will eat your dog! My language rq's last time: German AKA nazi saussage language - Deine Mutter ist eine Schlampe und ich habe sie letzte Nacht… Read more