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sorry for this being so random but I need to vent.

im so fucking done with trying, like I genuinely can't take this anymore. I overthink everything. maybe if I was prettier, skinnier, taller, nicer then maybe I would feel enough. the funny thing is that I have to cut in order to feel somewhat alive. I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I'm so fucking good to people yet they do shit that I couldn't even do, just thinking about it makes my brain vomit. atp any day now could be my last with how fucking miserable I am.

sorry for anyone who reads this lil note but its about Ethan,

tbh I love him so much, yes we have our ups and downs but I couldn't imagine life w/o him, yes he made some mistakes and ruined my trust but he's slowly and surely getting it back. he's so different. like when I look into his eyes it makes me feel all fuzzly and warm. i never wanna let go of him. all weekend I've been just thinking about him, wearing his hoodies to bed nd everything. he gives me pure joy and I never wanna lose this feeling.

yoo sooo yk @the uprising of helld , apparently he wants to be shown " more respect" and that apparently i " treat my girlfreind better" than him , bro like stfu ur a my freind , idgaf if ur my best freind , i would treat any girl i dated with more respect than any of my freinds , and thats why he wants to become moderator , js to ban me out of pettyness. yes i regret banning sum people.

Guys fletcher gave me a stuffed animal and a ring ^^ He made today a very happy day already (:

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