Cleaver jokes

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic?

When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.