Centenarian jokes

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.