Cemetary Jokes

Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"