Cemetary jokes
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.