Cassandra jokes

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"