Cassandra jokes
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
