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Canning jokes

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

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    • Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?

    Because they don't have a home.

    What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

    A frog in a blender.

    (this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

    What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

    One can support an average family.

    You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

    Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

    What is the difference between a human and a tree?

    A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.

    1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

    2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

  • 5

    • I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

    Here are some rules to make a good joke:

    1: Don't say “my life.”

    2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

    3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

    Question: What is the difference between a morbid joke and a dark joke?

    Answer: One is 10 babies in a trash can; the other is a baby in 10 trash cans.

    What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

    You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.