Canning jokes
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?
A family restaurant.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.