So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
why can Chinese people play baseball? because they ate the bat
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.
Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
dissabled man- stands up
blind man- “you can stand?”
deaf man- “you can see?”
mute man- “you can hear?”
dissabled man- “you can talk?”
doctor- “what the actual fuck”
other doctor- “FUCK THIS I QUIT!”
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Teacher: where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip
Orphan: Parent signature:___________
Hey can i tell you a pizza joke nah its too cheesy.
