Hey can i tell you a pizza joke nah its too cheesy.
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.
Can Febuary March? No but April May.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Husband: I look fat can someone compliment me?
Wife: you have good eyesight.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
What did the orphan say to the house? Can i live here
Why do Orphans like to go to church ?
Because they can finally call someone father
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!
Unknown: Okay!
Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!
Unknown whispering: Sexy!
