Canning jokes
why do orphans go to church?
because they can finally call someone "father."
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can orphans watch PG movies?
Because it's "Parental Guidance."
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.