Business jokes
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
Walmart (DYM 73).
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
Twitch & YouTube revenue. Haha funny joke, eheh!
Ads? More like bads.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
I blend children to make a good living.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.