Broken pencil jokes

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless!

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?

"You broke the beat!"

Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.

A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.