Boy

Boy jokes

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???

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  • Boy goes to Confession.

    Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

    Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

    Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

    Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

    Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

    Son, he is dinner.

    "Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."

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  • A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

    “Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

    “It’s because God made you special,” she said.

    “Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

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  • A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

    His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

    The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

    "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

    The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

    The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

    "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

    Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?

    Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.

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  • "Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

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  • Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

    While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

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  • A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

    "Baking a cake."

    The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

    "Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

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  • Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

    A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

    "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

    "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

    The boy licked his cone and replied:

    "Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

    A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

    The boy ran into the gym, why?

    Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."

    A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

    The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

    So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.

    Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"

    The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."

    Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"

    The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."

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