If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow
When I woke I was being sexually abused
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
