Bears jokes

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

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  • A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”

    The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”

    What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.

    Yeah, that joke was unbearable.

    Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

    Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"

    I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

    The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

    What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?

    The bear has common sense not to fire it.

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  • The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

    The cat still died, why?

    It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

    How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.

    “NO NO NO”

    I’ll give you some candy.

    “Oh ok🤩”

    Is crummy bears alright??