And jokes
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
What is yellow and smells like bananas?
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.