And jokes

What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?

I don’t have a garage.

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar..."" The bartender says, "Just stop and take your fucking drink!"

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

Bully

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?

Because I am a bully!

You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.

Death&Decay

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?

Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!

A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”

The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”

What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?

Answer: Who cares?

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"

Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."

Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.

Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.

Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.