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And jokes

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?

The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

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    • Earlier that day...

    Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

    Mission on space.

    Mars: Moon? You okay?

    Moon:...

    Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

    *Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

    I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

    What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?

    They both hit me face down on the table.

    Mother: We need to talk about sex...

    Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.

    Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.

    Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

    Liam: I like you both.

    Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

    Liam: I will go to paris.

    Mother: That's means you like dad more.

    Liam: No, its because i like paris.

    Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

    Liam: I will go to America.

    Mother: Why?

    Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

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    • Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

    Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

    Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

    Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

    Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

    Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?

    Jack: Bad News first.

    Mother: I'm dying!

    Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.

    Mother: *cries*

    Jack was never seen again.

    My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

    And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

    I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.