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I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

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    • Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

    *****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

    🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.

    If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

    So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

    Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

    So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

    And then she died.

    What's the definition of rude?

    Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.