And jokes

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

What’s the difference between video games and my dad?

My dad doesn’t beat me.

The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!

Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

What's the difference between women and men?

Men have rights.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.

Religion crashes them.