And jokes
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.
You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"