And jokes
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."