And jokes
What’s the difference between bowling balls and babies?
You can unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
CJ and Declan's Relationship!
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.