And jokes
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.