And jokes

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."

Guy: "What's the bad news?"

Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."

Guy: "Good news?"

Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."

One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"

"Incest."

Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.

Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?

Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.

Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!

My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.

God made Adam and Eve.

Satan made Adam and Steve.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

The shovel is a ground breaking invention.

*Slaps and laughs*

Oliver Savage and Jack Savage who goes to TTC in Frinton in England.

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

Oliver Savage and Dr. Mummy.

A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.