Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
My day started out great until I woke up.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife
X: Morning, sunshine!
Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
