Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy
Wade ツ
He's on top of you! He's going in through the back! OH GOD, HE'S INSIDE!
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
I told the emo girl that I bet she’s jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Boy goes to Confession Boy: "What are you doing father?” Priest: "Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it.” Boy "Why do you say that father?” Priest "Cause my hand is getting tired..”
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke? Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
What do KFC and pussy have in common? Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag? A Kit Kat.
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason. Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? No ballroom.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid, they were still breathing so I told them to walk it off.
