Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
Vegetative Whore
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
Danielle Smith obviously can't understand a rhetorical question.
Every time you ask her if she can get any dumber, she takes it as a challenge.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
I'm not saying Danielle Smith shouldn't party with oil barons.
I'm just saying that she should carefully watch her drink if she does.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly?
A. The anencephalic baby can't help not having a brain.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly have in common?
A. Neither of them have a brain.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.