I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.
I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."