Worst Jokes Ever

Anonymous
in Bank

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

5
Anonymous

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject

Anonymous
in Confucius

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Anonymous

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F—ing blue!

5
D.K.

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified

Väcüüm Cłëæner

When you send nudes to your roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone…

Anonymous

I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i’m not gonna die the same way.

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Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”

7
Anonymous

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

Anonymous

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

HAJley

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

Anonymous

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Anonymous

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat

8
Anonymous

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

yo_boi_pizza
in Shooting

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The man replied, “Yes sir, I did.”

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did!”

4
Anonymous
in Puns

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Anonymous

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

Weeb

Wife:Honey im pregnant

Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad

Wife:No you’re not

Anonymous

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder

4
Anonymous
in School

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?”

The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”

6