Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."

The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"

"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.

"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"

How did the man with no arms commit suicide? We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide. Tbh they really left me hanging there

-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-

a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"

she says "im going to jump"

the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"

the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says

"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.

A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

asian conversation: Person 1: Ni how's it going? Person 2: konnichi what's up? Person 1: ive bing chilin

I felt bad for a dog and u look yo my left and the was a orthin and I said I will make you a web site and I said there won't me a homepage

Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis.

My friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.