Worst Jokes Ever
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.
Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.